Thursday, November 27, 2008

IVF#3 - Trigger Panic!

Well today was NOT a good day for us. As I said yesterday, they completely took me off of Gonal-f and had me take only one Menopur. I went in for an u/s this morning and found that only a few of my follies grew, some stayed the same and some even shrunk. The sonographer and nurse both said that I would definitely not trigger tonight as the majority of my follies would still be immature. I addressed my concern to the nurse about my follies being smaller and she said let's see what your e2 is today, we just don't want it to plateau or stall.

I was back at the hotel sound asleep when ccrm called. I jumped up and answered it completely out of it. The nurse starts giving me instructions to trigger tonight. She might as well thrown a grenade at me. I panicked and said noooo, it's too early, my follies are too small!!!! I asked her who made this decision and it was Dr. Gustofson, not Schoolcraft. I begged her to let me talk to a Dr. because this is my last chance and I can't be triggered too early like I was on IVF#1. I asked if there was any way she could talk to Schoolcraft and make sure this is what he would do. She said she would talk to Dr. G as Schoolcraft is out and then call me back.

She called me back a few minutes later and said Dr. G was ok with me stimming one more night. He had made the decision to trigger me because my e2 had plateaued. It had only gone up by 96 to 3896. This was definitely a first for me, I've never had my e2 do anything but jump by leaps and bounds. So then I started panicking about that. Was I making the right decision to not trigger now. What does plateauing mean, have we starved my eggs, have they stopped growing because they died off??? The nurse said that the doctor would not have been willing to delay the trigger if he felt it would be detrimental to my cycle. My head was spinning.

I was instructed to take 75 Gonal, 1 Menopur tonight and 1 Menopur in the morning. I'm to come in for a day 11 monitoring visit in the morning.

The nurse called back a few mins later and said Schoolcraft had just called in and she discussed my situation with him. Schoolcraft said he understood why Dr. G wanted to trigger me and that he is fine with having me stim one more night. The nurse then reiterated that Schoolcraft would not have let me do anything detrimental to my cycle.

So now that weight is on me, did I make the right decision begging to stim another night? The fear has kicked in overdrive, I can't escape it. Will my follies be rescued by the stims tonight, what will I see on the u/s in the morning, will my e2 pick back up showing some growth?

This was not the Thankgiving I imagined. I've shed so many tears, I've hyperventilated, I've almost thrown up. There is just too much weighing on this, I've been through so much, all the injections, all the money, it just has to work!!! Please God, let me be a mom!

I was in no condition to go out to eat, so we stayed in as the hotel was serving Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out to be microwaved fried chicken and instant mashed potatos. It was pretty disgusting and I couldn't eat it. I ended up having an apple instead. On the positive side, at least I won't have to spend the next 3 months taking off the weight.

I guess the roller coaster has taken off. This has turned into a Kingda Ka ride. This is a roller coaster in Six Flags NJ. It is the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world. It goes from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds and literally goes straight up in the air and then straight back down.

I'm a roller coaster buff and even I nearly dirtied my britches. See for yourself; I'm above the K on the left and behind the guy's hand on the right, Kerry is next to me:

I kinda resemble the guy from Scary Movie!
Here's my complete results from today:

E2: 3896
LH: 1.3
P4: 0.66
Follies: 11.2, 12.3, 12.8, 13.0, 13.8, 15.1, 15.3, 15.8, 15.9, 16.2, 17.3, 17.5, 18.8, 20.4

Trying to remain positive...

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Thank you for your comment! Hugs, Kerry and Jill