Tuesday, October 13, 2009

FET#1.5 - 8dp5dt (Day Before Beta)

Tomorrow will be a life altering day for us. Our journey down this very long and winding road has come to a fork.

One path will be a very heart breaking one. Our life will go on without a little K&J that we have dreamt of for so long. Knowing there will be no reward for all of our blood, sweat and tears will be painful. All of our time and resources poured into this for nothing will be hard to swallow. But time will heal us and we will be ok because together, we are strong. We are so incredibly blessed with a great marriage and wonderful family and friends, that will be our focus.

The other path will come with more joy than we could contain. All of our hard work and determination will have paid off. All of our incurred debt will no longer matter. It will be the happiest day of our lives to date. This path seems so surreal.

We have no idea which path will be chosen for us. We have done everything we could, we have left no stone unturned. It's now out of our hands and we can only pray that we will receive a miracle.

Today has not been an easy day for us. With our first 2 IVFs, AF arrived before the beta. On our third IVF we made it to beta before AF reared her ugly self, but it was a BFN regardless. So here we are, day before beta and I started spotting pink this morning. In the afternoon it turned to bright red. This does not mean we're totally out, this does happen, but it is scary for us considering our history. It's a horrible deja vu that we are really hoping to not revisit.

Kerry and I both took tomorrow off from work. As I said in my last post, we will be asking our clinic to please not call us and instead fax us the results. We will read it together. We will take the time we need to process the results. During this time, we'd like to kindly ask that all family/friends refrain from calling us. We will call each family household and share our news good or bad. Once we've called you, please remain tight-lipped until we have had a chance to share our news with all immediate family members. Once we have completed our call list, we will then post our results on this blog.

Thanks everyone for all of your support through this challenging time.


  1. I really really want this for you. I want the happy joyous road. I know the other road has joy and surprises on it too...but I know how hard you've worked for this and the amount of effort and energy that went into it. I am still very much praying for you guys and hope with all my heart that this spotting is a GOOD thing...I've seen it a ton of times before during this IVF journey...its just a mind f**k.

    No worries about updating...don't worry so much about the calls (good or bad) you need to make. Focus on you and Kerry (and hopefully a little bean)...we'll be here for the post, whatever it is. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

  2. Hugs to you Jill. I hope the path chosen for you is the happy joyful one.

    I know you've put in so much into this journey, and I, along with so many others, am rooting real hard for you and Kerry.

    Good luck! Don't worry about updating us or anyone. The first and foremost are you and Kerry. Take care of yourselves first - whatever be the news.

    Much love...

  3. Oh Jill. I wish this wasn't so hard for you both. Whatever pathway you end up on, we will be here for you. Don't worry about updating us. Just know we are here for you either way - to share a tissue or to bust out the champagne (or sparking juice). Hugs.

  4. I hope your tears tomorrow are the happiest of happy ones! We are praying for you both!!
    (((Big Hugs Jill and Kerry)))


  5. BIG GIANT ((((((HUGS)))))) for you both. I saw your post on IVFC about the spotting, and I sent you many positive thoughts and am glad to see everyone there had reassuring stories to share. I'm still feeling positive, and hoping for a great outcome tomorrow. Hang in thru these last few hours of the wait.

  6. I'm not worried about the spotting--I've heard about it too many times where it didn't matter. I'm sorry it had to happen because I know it causes you both angst.

    I'm right here with you, hoping hoping hoping that the fork turns toward the happier side. You've done everything--and I mean everything--you possibly could.

  7. I'll be holding you and Kerry in my thoughts and prayers tonight and tomorrow. I've been so blessed to share your journey with you and know there will be more to come, no matter what happens. Big Hugs!!

  8. Please, please let Jill be pregnant and receive the best news of her life - that is my prayer for you. I wish you great strength whichever road you end up on. Hang in there! ((((HUGS))))

  9. Hoping beyond hope for you that tomorrow's path leads to the happiest day for you both!

  10. As the minutes tick away...I will pray...waiting for your call, either way. A road traveled so long, a fight to the end...you did your best and the results are in Gods hands now. Rest. Be still. You will have your answer soon. Until we all know, I wish you peace and hope in your future, no matter where it leads.
    I love you both, always and a day...Aunt Carol xoxoxoxoxo

  11. We love you so much. Still claiming the greatest news ever tomorrow. We will be there to support you no matter which way the journey goes.
    Our prayers are with you and Kerry every minute tonight. Peace be with you.

  12. Dearest Jill and Kerry,

    You two are incredible. I'm just sitting here crying and praying, not necessarily in that order. God's answer will make sense either way. We love you, Patti & Dad

  13. Oh Jill. I can feel the anxiety and excitement and worry in your words. I want more than anything for you to take the fork that has more joy than you can contain.

    Don't worry about all the updates either way. This is all about you and Kerry. Everything else can wait.

    Wishing, hoping, praying...

  14. We're there with you today (10/14/09) in spirit, and will be thinking of you and waiting for the long anticipated call. we love you both very much and will be there for your support on either side of the fork.

  15. We're there with you today (10/14/09) in spirit, and will be thinking of you and waiting for the long anticipated call. we love you both very much and will be there for your support on either side of the fork.

  16. My thoughts are with you today!! I am hoping beyond hope your surreal path becomes real. You and Kerry take care! Heidi

  17. Many thoughts and prayers for you as you wait on the news today, my sweet friend... We hope you are given a beautiful surprise from the Lord. *hugs*

  18. Big hugs to you. I'm thinking of you and Kerry today and just want this to be the happiest day of your lives. Jxxxxxx

  19. Thinking about you today.


Thank you for your comment! Hugs, Kerry and Jill