Wednesday, April 29, 2009

IVF#4 - 1 Week!

OMG, 1 week! In 1 week I'll be lighting a fire under my ovaries. I cannot believe it, does not seem real. No BCPs/Lupron before hand has really messed with my head. No ramp up period, I'm just going to jump right into the fire. I keep forgetting how soon this is coming up. I've even had nightmares that I had already moved into next cycle and completely forgot to start stims. Crazy huh!

Today I booked my tentative departure flights based on a guess of when AF will arrive. Not only is AF arrival up in the air, it's still unknown if I'll do my cd2 suppression check locally or in Denver. I'd rather do it locally as it would save me quite a bit on travel expense, but it's a matter of if I can get an appt at the last minute locally.

I booked a flight for May 5 that will put me in Denver on an estimated cd1 or cd2. This flight is in case I do the cd2 suppression check in Denver. The downside to this is that I won't need to be at CCRM again until 5 days later, which is a lot of extra hotel cost.

I also booked flights for Kerry and I for May 9 which would put us there a day or two before my first stim check. This flight is in case I do the cd2 suppression check locally. I'll cancel whichever flight I don't need. Once I know for sure which date I depart, I'll then have to scramble to book hotel and rental car.

Oh gosh, I just realized I still need to order my meds! This is all just way too much fun. You know, I really miss that innocent excitement I used to get right before an IVF cycle. I'm not excited this time, not in the least bit. 3 failures was a big enough reality check for me that IVF does not always work. I'll remain positive and hope for the best, but it's just not fun anymore.

I also know I'm starting on an uphill battle. The unknowns of how I'll respond to this new protocol. Knowing that I'll come home without my embabies, ie no chance of pregnancy. The challenge of growing my embryos to blast and biopsied for genetic testing. Waiting 6-8wks for genetic results. The desperate hope of having any normals available for transfer. Oh, I shouldn't leave out the best part, the part where it costs $25k for all this fun. What a deal! So yeah, this is a lot to deal with and takes a little bit away from being excited about it.

Some may be wondering about now, why is she even going through this then? Because I'm willing to do anything for my little K&J and if I have to go through hell and back to bring the little one into this world, that's what I'll do. I love my child this much, even though we've never met.

On a completely different note, I thought I would tell you about my time in Walmart last night entertaining their guests. I was in an aisle with a few other shoppers picking up some neccessities when Kerry called my cell. Now my cell has a very loud obnoxious ringer. The longer I take to answer it, the more loud and obnoxious it gets. I searched my purse, my cart, my pockets... I could not find my cell. By now everyone is quietly starring at me as if I was an exhibit at the zoo. I swear I can hear it coming from my pant side pocket, but after 3 checks of patting myself down, I couldn't find it. So I start over again, go through the purse, the cart, pockets again... now I'm even looking on the walmart shelf for it. At the last second I discovered it and exclaimed to my audience; "Oh, it's in my hand!". I gave everyone a good LOL and then proceeded to get out of there as fast as I could.


  1. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! It was in your hand!! I love it. Are you sure you aren't on the meds yet?

    May flowers... they are coming for you!

  2. Hahaha!!! That's a funny Walmart story Jill! I've done the Antagonist protocol before where you just jump right in with the stims and it is pretty dramatic since all other cycles need SOOOO LOOOOONG to ramp up but I find that I don't feel the same cycle fatigue by the end of it that I normally feel after doing a bcp/lupron lead up to the cycle. It will be short and sweet. GL with booking everything - I was anxious about getting the timing right as well last time I cycled since I wanted to be in Denver for cd2 testing. I don't know if it's cheaper for you to fly home the same day after cd2 testing at CCRM but that was something I considered doing instead of staying and bopping around Denver for 5 days.

  3. Good luck with the meds and the tickets and the travel and of course the IVF!!

    Your Walmart story was too funny. Immediately reminded me of my boss at my new job. His ring tone (and I'm NOT kidding) is a LOUD song which goes "So much to say, and I love you" or something like that. The first time I heard his phone ring, I almost fell off my chair in shock! Now I just keep my mouth shut tight lest I burst into peals of laughter right in front of him! LOL

  4. That's hysterical. Kind of still laughing about it - I think I may have done something like that myself:-)

    I'm so excited for you to get started. I'm gonna call later:-)

  5. Love your Walmart story! I was just telling my acu gal yesterday that the soul of my unborn child is in my head and I have been waiting and waiting for them to be placed in my awaiting arms. I, too, love my child SO SO much, even though we have never met. My family, I know, is just not complete yet. GL Jill! I really hope this works for you. I am here rooting you on!

  6. I just had to say this, I'm sorry but your poor back looks like you've already been in the fire.LOL
    But you know I love you. and can't wait to see how things progress

    Love ya

  7. What a super duper fun way to spend 25K right?? Actually, as we always say, in the end if it works the money will be moot. We'll all pool our resources to send our kids to college somehow, right?
    Your story cracked me up!

  8. I am so excited for your next IVF cycle. I will be following your journey and cheering for you. Caroline xx

  9. I am cracking up about your Walmart story! My last 2 fresh cycles were the antagonist protocol. I actually liked it because it was a shorter cycle. Though if I was in your shoes I would of tweaked. You have so much to plan and it sounds like you are doing a great job! I know you have a long road ahead but you are doing whatever you can to become a mother. That is all you need to remember.

  10. Heehee, the Walmart thing is really funny! Exactly what I'd do, too. So I'm really excited for you. I love the expression "light a fire under my ovaries"! That's exactly what it's like. I hope they'll be basking in the heat soon and yield some nice follies/eggs. Good idea about the flights - that way you know it'll be ok no matter which way you do it. I'll be cheering you on all the way!!!

  11. I love the phone story. At least you gave some people a good laugh for the day.
    You need to get excited about this next adventure. It is going to be a great one, I just know it.
    The best is yet to come.
    Love you bunches,
    Jean and Crew


Thank you for your comment! Hugs, Kerry and Jill