IVF#4 - 1 Week!

OMG, 1 week! In 1 week I'll be lighting a fire under my ovaries. I cannot believe it, does not seem real. No BCPs/Lupron before hand has really messed with my head. No ramp up period, I'm just going to jump right into the fire. I keep forgetting how soon this is coming up. I've even had nightmares that I had already moved into next cycle and completely forgot to start stims. Crazy huh!

Today I booked my tentative departure flights based on a guess of when AF will arrive. Not only is AF arrival up in the air, it's still unknown if I'll do my cd2 suppression check locally or in Denver. I'd rather do it locally as it would save me quite a bit on travel expense, but it's a matter of if I can get an appt at the last minute locally.

I booked a flight for May 5 that will put me in Denver on an estimated cd1 or cd2. This flight is in case I do the cd2 suppression check in Denver. The downside to this is that I won't need to be at CCRM again until 5 days later, which is a lot of extra hotel cost.

I also booked flights for Kerry and I for May 9 which would put us there a day or two before my first stim check. This flight is in case I do the cd2 suppression check locally. I'll cancel whichever flight I don't need. Once I know for sure which date I depart, I'll then have to scramble to book hotel and rental car.

Oh gosh, I just realized I still need to order my meds! This is all just way too much fun. You know, I really miss that innocent excitement I used to get right before an IVF cycle. I'm not excited this time, not in the least bit. 3 failures was a big enough reality check for me that IVF does not always work. I'll remain positive and hope for the best, but it's just not fun anymore.

I also know I'm starting on an uphill battle. The unknowns of how I'll respond to this new protocol. Knowing that I'll come home without my embabies, ie no chance of pregnancy. The challenge of growing my embryos to blast and biopsied for genetic testing. Waiting 6-8wks for genetic results. The desperate hope of having any normals available for transfer. Oh, I shouldn't leave out the best part, the part where it costs $25k for all this fun. What a deal! So yeah, this is a lot to deal with and takes a little bit away from being excited about it.

Some may be wondering about now, why is she even going through this then? Because I'm willing to do anything for my little K&J and if I have to go through hell and back to bring the little one into this world, that's what I'll do. I love my child this much, even though we've never met.

On a completely different note, I thought I would tell you about my time in Walmart last night entertaining their guests. I was in an aisle with a few other shoppers picking up some neccessities when Kerry called my cell. Now my cell has a very loud obnoxious ringer. The longer I take to answer it, the more loud and obnoxious it gets. I searched my purse, my cart, my pockets... I could not find my cell. By now everyone is quietly starring at me as if I was an exhibit at the zoo. I swear I can hear it coming from my pant side pocket, but after 3 checks of patting myself down, I couldn't find it. So I start over again, go through the purse, the cart, pockets again... now I'm even looking on the walmart shelf for it. At the last second I discovered it and exclaimed to my audience; "Oh, it's in my hand!". I gave everyone a good LOL and then proceeded to get out of there as fast as I could.