To recap, I had finally made it to 10 cm after 32 hrs of labor but the baby was not descending and it was suggested to move on to a c-section.
My mind was running a million miles an hour. I was trying to process the cards I had just been dealt. All eyes were on me waiting for me to agree to the c-section. I felt defeated. I was trying to get the words out that I agreed to it, but they just wouldn't come out. Within seconds of agreeing to the c-section, I stopped and said, I've worked so hard to get to 10, the monitor shows the baby is doing fine, can I not just try to push once? The midwife said sure, let's give it a go, on your next contraction, I want you to push harder than you have ever pushed in your life.
This photo was taken right before pushing. By this time, the swelling had taken over from head to toe. My mom told me later that she didn't even recognize me and that it was scaring her to death as my face was a big square with a double chin and no neck. I had NO clue I looked like this until I saw the photos. Apparently on top of the edema, the enormous amounts of IV fluids (5 rounds of penicillin, 17 hrs of pitocin, 4 rounds of epidural anesthetic and zofran) caused me to blow up like a beached whale.
Wednesday June 23, 2010
2:30 pm
Contraction started, I took a deep breath and then stopped and said, wait, how do I push? She laughed and then said take a deep breath, lift your head, pull your legs back and push like you're having a bowel movement. I wish she wouldn't have used that anology because I was terrified of pooping while pushing.
I did as she instructed. While she had 2 fingers on baby's head, I took a deep breath, lifted my head, pulled my water logged legs back as best as I could and pushed with everything I had in me for 10 seconds. I took another deep breath and repeated. The midwife asked Kerry if he wanted to see the top of the baby's head. He jumped up and took a look and said, oh wow! I took another deep breath and finished my 3rd push. The midwife said, ok, let's push, you just moved your baby down!
As I waited for the next contraction, the midwife said I made good change, that the baby rotated some and that I pushed really well, so they're just going to watch and see what happens.
I had pictured the doula and mothers at my head watching the same view as me... uh nope! I had an entire party between my legs watching. You really do lose all modesty when giving birth. Surprisingly I didn't mind a bit, even with my lady bits swollen 10x their normal size (not exaggerating) and my lovely hemmies proudly displaying in all their glory.
As the next contraction came, I did my 3 pushes and then announced that I felt like my face was going to explode. They asked me to hold my breath in my diaphragm and not my face. The midwife said that they would do the best they could to get this baby out vaginally and then told me that these pushes will be the hardest thing I'd ever do, every single time, and to push with all my might. She then let us know that she thinks we have a good size baby and that there was a chance that the shoulders could get stuck and to prepare my mind that if that happens, they will be pushing really hard on my stomach to get him out.
I repeated another set of pushes. She told me I was doing really well and that my baby has some peach fuzz. I told her I wanted a bald baby and Kerry said, we can shave him, LOL!
I repeated another set of pushes. The midwife asked me to reach down and feel my baby's head. He was still way inside, so I stopped as I was afraid of poking him with my nail.
I repeated another set of pushes and all of a sudden I saw the midwife and nurse grab up the cloth under me and wisk it away really fast. Kerry told me later that I had pushed out a little turd. I was surprised to find that I really didn't care and wasn't embarrassed at all. The amount of force put into pushing a baby out is unbelievable and I'm convinced that if anyone has a turd in the bowel, it will come out. I am relieved though that I never farted.
The midwife had me change positions to one side.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry said he could see more of the head.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry said the head was very close to crowning. I wanted to join the party going on down south and asked for a mirror.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry assisted by applying pressure to the area. The midwife was really great about letting Kerry be involved in the delivery.
I repeated another set of pushes and this time watched in the mirror. I could see when my pushes descended the baby and when they didn't, so it helped to perfect my pushing. I could see the head! It was about the size of a quarter when I wasn't pushing and about the size of a golf ball when I was pushing.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry was getting all excited, was counting 1-10 very loudly and was rooting me on. My lady bits were bulging as the baby was coming further down. Kerry grabbed the oxygen and started passing it around for everyone to take a quick hit. LOL
I repeated another set of pushes. The midwife said we were working on getting him under the pubic bone and that's what takes so long.
I repeated another set of pushes. The head was now the size of a baseball.
3:05 pm
The midwife broke the bed down for delivery.
I repeated another set of pushes. The burning pain was intense! I guess this is what they call the ring of fire! The midwife explained to me that I really needed to concentrate on her voice as there was going to be a time where she was going to tell me to stop pushing so she could ease the head out.
I repeated another set of pushes. The head was coming further out.
I repeated another set of pushes. I was asked to stop pushing so they could slowly manipulate the head out. OMG, the burning sensation was intense! I watched in the mirror. His head was slowly coming out and then all of a sudden I could see his cute little nose pop out. He was facing the floor, in the exact position he needed to be in. Then his entire face appeared, the midwife worked his shoulders out and within seconds, he came flying out. Kerry and the midwife placed him on my chest.
3:17 pm
As I waited for the next contraction, the midwife said I made good change, that the baby rotated some and that I pushed really well, so they're just going to watch and see what happens.
I had pictured the doula and mothers at my head watching the same view as me... uh nope! I had an entire party between my legs watching. You really do lose all modesty when giving birth. Surprisingly I didn't mind a bit, even with my lady bits swollen 10x their normal size (not exaggerating) and my lovely hemmies proudly displaying in all their glory.
As the next contraction came, I did my 3 pushes and then announced that I felt like my face was going to explode. They asked me to hold my breath in my diaphragm and not my face. The midwife said that they would do the best they could to get this baby out vaginally and then told me that these pushes will be the hardest thing I'd ever do, every single time, and to push with all my might. She then let us know that she thinks we have a good size baby and that there was a chance that the shoulders could get stuck and to prepare my mind that if that happens, they will be pushing really hard on my stomach to get him out.
I repeated another set of pushes. She told me I was doing really well and that my baby has some peach fuzz. I told her I wanted a bald baby and Kerry said, we can shave him, LOL!
Video Diary: Pushing
I repeated another set of pushes. The midwife asked me to reach down and feel my baby's head. He was still way inside, so I stopped as I was afraid of poking him with my nail.
I repeated another set of pushes and all of a sudden I saw the midwife and nurse grab up the cloth under me and wisk it away really fast. Kerry told me later that I had pushed out a little turd. I was surprised to find that I really didn't care and wasn't embarrassed at all. The amount of force put into pushing a baby out is unbelievable and I'm convinced that if anyone has a turd in the bowel, it will come out. I am relieved though that I never farted.
The midwife had me change positions to one side.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry said he could see more of the head.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry said the head was very close to crowning. I wanted to join the party going on down south and asked for a mirror.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry assisted by applying pressure to the area. The midwife was really great about letting Kerry be involved in the delivery.
I repeated another set of pushes and this time watched in the mirror. I could see when my pushes descended the baby and when they didn't, so it helped to perfect my pushing. I could see the head! It was about the size of a quarter when I wasn't pushing and about the size of a golf ball when I was pushing.
I repeated another set of pushes. Kerry was getting all excited, was counting 1-10 very loudly and was rooting me on. My lady bits were bulging as the baby was coming further down. Kerry grabbed the oxygen and started passing it around for everyone to take a quick hit. LOL
I repeated another set of pushes. The midwife said we were working on getting him under the pubic bone and that's what takes so long.
I repeated another set of pushes. The head was now the size of a baseball.
3:05 pm
The midwife broke the bed down for delivery.
I repeated another set of pushes. The burning pain was intense! I guess this is what they call the ring of fire! The midwife explained to me that I really needed to concentrate on her voice as there was going to be a time where she was going to tell me to stop pushing so she could ease the head out.
I repeated another set of pushes. The head was coming further out.
I repeated another set of pushes. I was asked to stop pushing so they could slowly manipulate the head out. OMG, the burning sensation was intense! I watched in the mirror. His head was slowly coming out and then all of a sudden I could see his cute little nose pop out. He was facing the floor, in the exact position he needed to be in. Then his entire face appeared, the midwife worked his shoulders out and within seconds, he came flying out. Kerry and the midwife placed him on my chest.
3:17 pm
Tyler Isaac Morris born vaginally (on his due date) after 47 mins of pushing.
Weight: 6 lbs. 15 oz. (not a big baby at all!)
Length: 19" (23" if you count his cone head!)
He gave us a little scare as it appeared he wasn't breathing and had to be rushed over to the baby nurses for stimulation and oxygen. It seemed like an eternity before he cried and the nurses weren't giving us any feedback. Mama was stressed! The midwife asked if she should call nicu and they said no, he's breathing, just not crying. When he finally did cry, it was music to my ears. He sounded like a newborn kitten. The midwife said he was just stunned.
Weight: 6 lbs. 15 oz. (not a big baby at all!)
Length: 19" (23" if you count his cone head!)
He gave us a little scare as it appeared he wasn't breathing and had to be rushed over to the baby nurses for stimulation and oxygen. It seemed like an eternity before he cried and the nurses weren't giving us any feedback. Mama was stressed! The midwife asked if she should call nicu and they said no, he's breathing, just not crying. When he finally did cry, it was music to my ears. He sounded like a newborn kitten. The midwife said he was just stunned.
Video Diary: Tyler's Birth
Video Diary: Tyler with the baby nurses
Video Diary: Tyler with his Mommy
While I held Tyler, the midwife delivered the placenta. I couldn't feel it coming out, but man did it hurt when the nurse massaged my belly to get it to release.
Next was stitching me up. The midwife said my perineum was completely intact and congratulated us on a great job with the perineum massage. Yeah, it paid off!!! I did have one 1st degree tear in my labia right next to the urethra that required 4 stitches.
Video Diary: The midwife showing Kerry the placenta (for those who like blood and gore)
The midwife didn't mention it in this video, but when she showed me the placenta, she also showed how the cord was attached to the side of the placenta instead of in the center, which is called marginal cord insertion. That was interesting as one of my early u/s showed I had marginal cord insertion but the following 2 u/s ruled it out. Oh well, better that I didn't have that to stress over. Then she said it had a little bit of a velamentous cord insertion which means that the veins, unprotected by Wharton's jelly, traverse the membranes before they come together into the umbilical cord. These veins unprotected can rupture and lead to fetal death. Whew, really glad I didn't know about that!
Video Diary: Tyler with Daddy
Video Diary: All smiles now!
Our Midwife Lauren
Tyler's Big Brother Austin
That completes my 33 hours of labor and delivery. Up next, postpartum and Tyler updates... hope to have these posted before Tyler turns 18! ;-)
Wow! Congratulations! I had the EXACT thing happen with Teagan (in terms of getting stunned)...but she was luckily surprisingly easy to push out (yay for those childbearing hips)...but ouch!!!! Anyway, they immediately plunked her down on my belly for me to rub and hug and she just went limp, I literally screamed, "she stopped breathing!" and tossed her to the nurses who said "call the NICU!!!" and put her under the light...apparently she was fine...just stunned too. Talk about scary though. I have absolute sympathy with you on that moment! Oh...and the ring of fire, lol, even with the epidural, I was shocked!!!!
ReplyDeleteHe is absolutely beautiful! I can't wait to hear how the last few weeks have been!!!!
WOW!! you are a trooper!! I admire your persistence. C-sections aren't awful, but I am glad you held your ground and got your vaginal delivery. I have had a vaginal, a c-section then a vbac and the vbac was actually the easiest of all. I am so glad little Tyler is here safe and sound. God has heard your prayers and has answered them with this beautiful little boy. I hope these next few months are a joyous time for your family.
ReplyDeleteMany blessings to you :)
Anita Simonson (your fellow IVFer in Idaho)
Oh my goodness I was sitting on the edge of my seat reading all of that....I cannot even imagine having to push for almost an hour, especially after laboring for that long...that had to have been very exhausting. I'm just glad they were able to get him out safely and that you got your wish.
ReplyDeleteHow scary about him coming out and not being responsive...I would have totally freaked out! I noticed how his color went from kind of blue to nice & pink once they got him stimulated!
Geesh on the placenta issues...it really is a wonderful thing that you didn't know all of that...you worried enough during your pregnancy and surely didn't need all of that to worry about too....thank GOD those problems didn't effect the beautiful outcome:)
He is just soooo precious and I can't wait to hear all about the last month since he's been born...gosh he's going to be a month old already....told you that time would fly!
I hope you are thoroughly enjoying him and that motherhood is everything you'd hoped it would be!
Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! That's all I can think...he's absolutely adorable.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story in such detail and I am in such awe with how wonderful your midwife and doula were. I felt much the same as you - how exactly does one push a baby out?? they didn't cover that in my pre-natal classes on the premise that most of the twin mommies would have c-sections. Nothing annoyed me more than hearing the doctor say that there was "poor maternal pushing effort" on my part but I don't remember anyone trying to ease the head under the pubic bone like they did for you. So much care was taken in his delivery - they really are very skilled those midwives.
So scary too when he was unresponsive just after he was born...you think you're so close after everything you've been through for something to happen right when he's born...that's terrifying. I'm glad that he's okay and doing well. Glad too that you didn't know about the marginal cord insertion issue as well!
I saw your comment on someone else's blog re: challenges with BF and all I can say is hang in there. You can do it and it's harder than people say it is but worth it. Love the name too - Tyler! Good choice!
congrats again - he's adorable!
Congratulations!!! I have loved reading your blog. You seem like such a wonderful, supportive couple who can laugh when things get hard which I really appreciate. I just finished reading your latest birth installment and had tears in my eyes and a big lump in my throat. What a miracle Tyler is and a very lucky guy to have you as parents.
ReplyDeleteThose cheeks! He is just so cute!
ReplyDeleteAnd whew! What a story, I'm a bit tired just having read that. I can't believe how puffy you got - how long til that went down? And so glad you didn't know some of those placenta issues - who needs that stress? Everything is fine, and now I can't wait to hear how you all are doing now!
Such a fantastic account of bringing little Tyler into the world!! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, so happy that you have been blessed beyond words with this precious gift!!
ReplyDeleteYOU are AMAZING!!! All that effort and stamina for so long! I know he was worth the pain, the effort and the wait. GOOD JOB, MOMMA!!
Hope you're enjoying every single moment with him, through the sleep deprived eyes, sore nipples (I imagine), and many poopy diapers. I can't wait! :0)
Love to you, Kerry and kiss his little head for me!
The Other Jill
You Did It! Wow, I was at the edge of my seat reading this. Your birth story had me in tears. I love watching you and Kerry. You both are so funny, loving and so supportive. Tyler is so lucky to have you both for parents. I can only imagine Tyler will be giggling in no time. Congrats again!
ReplyDeleteN
Love you blog! Your story is amazing congrats!
ReplyDeleteTiff
(VRSG)
Wow, GOOD for you for pushing for the pushing! And only 45 minutes of pushing! That sounds good to me. I can't believe how swollen you were, poor thing! Has that all gone down yet? Ankles back to normal and everything? Please say yes! I saw my friend who gave birth on 7/7, and her tummy is flat again. No fair! I doubt it will go that fast for me, but my tummy wasn't as flat as hers to begin with.... Oh, good job on the perineal massage, too! I did NOT enjoy our first attempt at it, and so haven't tried again, but I'm feeling newly motivated. We don't have much time to work on it!
ReplyDeleteI could not be happier for you! You both are a testament to faith, determination, and perseverance. What a beautiful little boy you have brought into this world!! He is soooo very blessed to have you and Kerry as parents. I am happy for him that he gets the gift of having some of the most dedicated, loving parents in this world, and I am happy for you all that your dreams have come true!
ReplyDeleteHope to talk to you soon!!
Huge congrats. Some of the videos made me cry! :)
ReplyDeleteWow.. I was looking for images for a giraffe b.day cake for our sons 1st b.day and found your website! What a story to share, how brave of you both. Biggest congrats on the arrival of your gorgeous wee man, you both must be so very, very proud. Enjoy every moment
ReplyDeleteCherie - New Zealand