Monday, May 10, 2010

My 1st Mother's Day

It never fails, Mother's Day always has a way of bringing me to tears. For years it was pitiful crocodile tears, wondering if I would ever get to be a mom. The kind of tears that followed this video from our 3rd IVF.

This was supposed to be our video that we would use to share our happy news with friends and family. I never posted it because well, it was not a happy video. This is actually the first time I've even been able to watch it.

But this year, the tears are of joy and relief, that finally, I get to be included in this holiday!

My day started with attending 2nd service and then serving in the nursery 3rd service with my mom. After church, a friend mentioned to me that our pastor used our journey as an illustration to his message in the 3rd service. The context of the message was not letting failure or tragedy bring you down and make you bitter, but instead to keep pressing forward despite failure and not giving up. I watched it online and was very touched, and of course the tears started flowing.

Here's a clip of the message.

After I started writing this post, I realized that the timing of the events are a little off, but no biggie. We both were so sure it was last Mother's Day that we failed IVF#3, until I looked at our calendar. It was actually IVF#4 that we were in the middle of during Mother's Day 1 year ago and it was IVF#1 that we failed on Mother's Day 2 years ago. It's easy to lose track when you lived the life of a lab rat for so long and you have preggo brain. Oh well!

We then met up with some family for dinner at Olive Garden. Kerry gave me a very sweet Mother's Day card that thanked me for persevering through all the trials. I bawled.

My mom gave me a very special gift. This baby carriage planter was given to my mom the day I was born by her mom. It included a beautiful note about how much this planter means to her and how she's been waiting to give this to me for 37 years. It's the only thing that is left from my birth, so it's quite special to us. Yes, I bawled again!

I also received lots of emails, cards and e-cards wishing me a happy Mother's Day. Thank you to all that did, I smiled, I laughed and I cried.

This next video is just a short clip of us celebrating at Olive Garden.

Happy Mother's Day to all (one day late)! Even if you're not there yet, I believe that some how, some way, you will get there, just never give up!!!!


  1. Oh my goodness Jill.....I almost cried watching the first video....I know all too well how THAT heart sank & I cried soooo many times when I saw that "negative" or "not pregnant" result. That took a LOT of courage for you to share that with the world but it was VERY appropriate to choose this post to do so....

    I loved your pastor's little blurb there about you and gave me goose bumps. What neet!

    And I especially loved the video of your belly....wish you would have stood up longer so we could have gotten a good cute!

    I'm glad you enjoyed your mother's day....I remember being pregant with Brayden and how wonderful it felt to finally celebrate my first mother's day. The year before that I had JUST lost twins and I remember being in my mom's church and they made all the mother's stand up. I remember them telling me that just because my babies weren't here on earth, I was still a mother. I remember crying harder than I've ever cried in my life as I stood there with everyone looking at me. I felt so empty inside and I was angry because I wanted to experience what all those other women were experiencing.....little did I know that I'd experience my first miracle baby that next year....God is awesome & I'm so happy for you and can't wait for you to truly feel what unconditional love is when you hold that little man for the first time.

    love you!

  2. I felt like crying watching that first video. :0( I am so excited that baby boy is almost here! I'm glad you had a wonderful first Mother's Day!!! :0) Love you!

  3. My beautiful preggo friend, your videos made me cry. I'm so thankful to God that you were able to enjoy Mother's Day. I thought of you so much!!! Praise God for His kindness to us all. *hugs*

  4. That first video, wow. I almost cried (ok, maybe I misted up a little)- and it brought back a lot of my own memories.

    Jill, you have been such an inspiration to me, I have loved to see you and Kerry keep pushing forward, always with a laugh or smile, even through the tears. You both will be such wonderful parents, Seven is a very lucky and blessed child.

    Happy Mother's Day.

  5. Jill, I don't comment on your blog too often, but this one really got to me. I remember that pain all too well. I'm so proud that you guys stuck with it, and now you'll have a little baby boy next month! I so wish I could have come to your shower, but we will get together one of these days!!
    Much love to you both!

  6. I'm speechless and tears are streaming after reading and watching all the clips.

  7. So cool to qualify for the celebration, no? Congrats to you!

  8. I'm all choked up and teary eyed now ~ I am SO happy for you Jill!!! This blog entry really hit me hard - to know that you never gave up and that you finally got your miracle!!

    Happy (belated) Mother's Day my friend!!! I cannot wait to hear all about your son's birth and what it was like for you to hold him for the very first time! It's SO close now....


  9. I was never brave enough to videotape the POAS moment, although we did catch one BFN call (the one we didn't test early at all on, and naturally really thought it had worked) on video and they're all just awful.

    So glad you can say you've moved beyond crocodile tears and onto happy mother's days!

  10. I just got done reading your blog. I seriously was (am) crying the ugly cry. It is absolutely amazing to me how much you have been through and yet you have always perservered. ALWAYS! You have always kept going when most of us would crawl in a hole. You have helped others going through the same pain. You still do, you post personal details because you know it will help others, you keep your faith and and show others that by doing so you can have anything. You helped me through a journey that I thought at the time was so hard but look back now and see what you have been through and I know I would not have lasted. I can only pray for the strength and courage that you have. I think some how it was fate that I met you, and I truly feel blessed for knowing you! You are going to be an awesome mom for that beautiful baby!!! I just hope you truly know what a shining light you are for people. You can see it in the way the pastor talked about you both and I always see it in comments that perfect stangers leave on your blog or the vr boards, etc. I am so happy for you!!! You truly deserve every happiness in the world and I am so happy it is finally being sent your way!

  11. All I can say through the tears is

    Can't wait to see you in 10 days.

    Love ya

    Sis and
    Seven's Auntie Sheree

  12. I can't believe you're almost 34 weeks already! So glad you had a great mother's day.

  13. PS Love the planter and the belly!

  14. Sniff, sniff... Those were some amazing moments you shared!!! It is REAL-- we are going to be MOTHERS!!! I'm so glad you had a great day!! I thought of you several times, and imagined that you were glowing even more than normal on Sunday. :0)

    What a wonderful testimony you and Kerry are to the power of prayer and perseverance. I'm so glad I've gotten to know you!

    Love ya,
    The Other Jill

    PS- I need to get your mailing address! Email me!! :0)

  15. So many emotions with this one.

    So happy you were able to finally fully enjoy this day. Wishing you a lifetime of happy mother's days to come (even those teen ones)... (;

  16. Wow! I have tears watching all of these videos. Thanks for posting them to remind me of how precious my boys are after getting so many BFNs on our IVF journey myself. Wow, just wow! We've come so far.

  17. Oh, Jill! What a wonderful 1st Mother's Day you had! That first clip really brought on the tears for both of us. Your and Kerry's faith is truly inspirational just as Danny refused to give up and knew He had this in His plan for you! Now we are crying tears of joy!! What a special time it will be to celebrate with the whole family when you "open your gift" from God in a few short weeks! Love, Mom2 & Dad


Thank you for your comment! Hugs, Kerry and Jill