Saturday, January 10, 2009

Life's Unfair

My last post really got me thinking about how unfair life really is. Many life events leave us with those dreaded questions that have no answers. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Will I ever overcome this?

For me, and many of you, this is infertility. I really don’t like saying “why me?” as I don’t want to come off like I’d prefer it to be someone else. I don’t wish infertility on anyone, so let me change it to “why us?”.

I’ve found it helps when I take the focus of off me and look around. You don’t have to look far to see the hurt and broken. Within several miles I can find more hurt than I can comprehend.

Terminally ill, cancer, disease
Divorced, widowed
Poverty stricken, devastated by natural disasters, homeless
Abused, raped, abandoned
Loss of a loved one, kidnapped, murdered, killed by a drunk driver, suicide
Deaf, blind, handicapped, permanently disabled, missing limbs, disfigured

As I was writing this post, I asked Kerry to name off some unfortunate life events and he said “for you, the internet going down”. LOL!!! I’m quite the internet junkie.

Life definitely is not fair, but I think we all have more in common than we realize. We are all inflicted with something that causes pain, just in different forms. I think if we looked deep into every person, we would find areas of both blessings and brokenness. We’re really not alone, we just hurt in different ways.

Yes, I’m inflicted with infertility and it hurts deeply, but when put into perspective, I have a good life. I will take infertility over so many of those above any day. While I’m envious of those with children, I need to keep my focus on what I do have. I need to reach out more and help those broken in their own way. Sometimes our own healing is found in helping others.

To all those that are broken, I pray that your heart is mended and the desires of your heart are granted. Hugs!


  1. And pain bonds. No matter what the cause of the pain, only people that have faced a life crisis can get the pain of another. Sad but true reality.

  2. That was beautiful Jill! It's true.....if we try and walk in someone else's shoes and feel their pain, it's very therapeutic. I too wouldn't wish all of those other things on myself....I'd take the infertility in a heartbeat as painful as it is.

    I am specifically praying that last paragraph for YOU my friend....that "YOUR heart is mended and the desires of YOUR heart are granted"

    love ya!

  3. It's hard to keep that focus all the time...I try, really I do, to think about all the great things I have in my life, that so many do not have.
    Big hugs to you!

  4. I completely agree..and tell myself something along these lines every single day. But then I think, but I still want to be a mommy! Oh well. It definitely could be worse.

  5. You are so right about this. I think Oprah said that if we always look at what we don't have we will never be satisfied and I have to keep reminding myself that there are a lot of things that I do have TODAY.

  6. this post is a nice reminder about all of the things that we do have...

  7. This is so true! I would choose IF over a lot of problems that friends and family members have any day. It is a work in progress to remember the good things that we have and not always focus on the negative things.

    Thank you for writing such an eloquent post!

  8. Jill, when I read this, it made me realize how much you have grown in a short time. I am very proud to be your mother all the time, but especially at times like this! I love you, Mom

  9. Great post and oh so true! Sometimes, I lose track of all my blessings. Thank you for reminding me that there are others out there that are also thinking "why me".


Thank you for your comment! Hugs, Kerry and Jill