IVF#3 - Beta

Negative, Not Pregnant!

IVF#3 - Results

Emotionally, mentally, financially broken....

IVF#3 - More 2ww Torture

Yesterday was horrible, I cried way too many times and was just convinced it was over for me. I told Kerry (who is out of town) that I was going to test in the morning and get the grieving over with. He begged me not to test while he's gone, but I was determined, I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up at 4am and peed in a cup and then went back to bed. I woke up again at 6:30a, temped and put in my next suppository. As soon as I saw my temp go back up and the fact that I have made it without any spotting/bleeding past the days I had started in my previous IVFs, I found new hope. I decided to not test.

Being on vaginal suppositories 3x/day, I have lots of leakage. I had to close all my blinds around the house because every time I felt any leakage, I stopped right there, dropped the drawers and took a peek to make sure it was white and not pink/red.

Kerry just texted me to see how I was doing today and said he got all choked up when he was telling some female co-workers how this just has to work and can't bare me going through another failure. Then he asked me to please not test without him. Gosh, I'm so blessed to have him. I just can't test without him. I'll see if I can talk him into testing together Sunday AFTER I work the nursery.

This will be our child:

IVF#3 - 2ww Blues

I'm feeling down today. My chart isn't looking so amazing and I just don't feel pg. I am so freakin scared. No, I haven't tested at all. Too scared. I think I would have caved if I had ever got that overwhelming feeling that I was pg. I thought about testing this morning, but can't because I have my annual review today, didn't think it would go over too well to be sobbing during that. I have a Christmas party to attend Sat and it's my turn to work the nursery Sun at church. So I just can't face a negative and be able to hold it together for any of these events. Maybe I'll test after church Sun, no one to face then.

Going by my last 2 IVFs, I would have started bleeding by today... so I'll be toilet paper watching all day. I think I'll lose it if I see red again.

IVF#3 - No Symptoms

I'm feeling NOTHING! I have no clue which way this will go. I still have high hopes, but I know how devastating it's going to be if this fails a 3rd time, so I'm really dreading the beta.